Teaching students how to think is not as difficult as you would imagine. They can flourish and excel at descriptive scenes if they are given the right guidance. Today’s blog shows how to describe a battle scene using the best techniques. The paragraphs at the end deconstruct the methods needed to write an effective battle scene. The five boxes have words that are geared towards different levels of ability, from beginners to advanced. Level 1 is basic and Level 5 is complex. The sentences show how to put the words in the boxes into sentences.I hope you enjoy the hints, no matter what your level of ability.
DESCRIBING BATTLE SCENES
LEVEL 1 LEVEL 2 LEVEL 3 LEVEL 4 LEVEL 5 OTHERS
1. A scarof bright light hung in the bat-black sky.
2. A gash of radiant light broke through the cauldron-black sky.
3. A fracture of birthstone-bright light peeped through the pagan-black sky.
4. A rupture of moonstone-yellow light appeared in the carnal-black sky.
5. A lesion of lodestar-bright light illuminated the benighted sky.
1. Berry-red blood squirted from our wounds.
2. Brazier-red blood sprayed from our wounds.
3. Molten-red blood splashed from our open wounds.
4. Balefire-red blood splattered from our gaping wounds.
5. Titian-red blood spurted from our wounds as men wailed and screamed.
1. We were battering and beating against our enemy under a sunless sky.
2. We were clobbering and clubbing against their shield wall under a moonless sky.
3. We were pounding and pummelling their defences under a beamless sky.
4. We were carving and cleaving towards the centre of their army under a rayless sky.
5. We were mangling and gashing their serried ranks under a starless sky.
|buzzing and fizzing||shrilling and sissing||puling and purling||trembling and thrumming||skirling and sizzling|
|fizzling and frizzling||zipping and hissing||rasping and keening||whizzing and whistling||whining and wailing|
1. A storm of arrows was buzzing and fizzing through the sky.
2. A blizzard of spears was shrilling and sissing through the sky.
3. A tempest of lances was rasping and keening through the basalt-black sky.
4. A maelstrom of pig stickers was whizzing and whistling through the benzene-black sky.
5. A windstorm of fire arrows was skirling and sizzling through the bitumen-black sky.
CRIES OF PAIN
1. Men were screaming and screeching as the ground became slippery with sludge.
2. Men were snarling and squealing as the ground became greasy with gore.
3. Men were blubbering and choking as the battleground became slimy with intestines.
4. Men were groaning and yowling as the battlefield became slick with innards.
5. The theatre of death filled up with keening and caterwauling sounds as the sodden earth becameoily with ichor.
SOUNDS OF METAL
1. Our harnesses were chinking and dinging under the boiling sky.
2. Our swords were clinking and clashing under the churning sky.
3. Our chain armour was jingling and tinkling under the turbulent, cellar-black sky.
4. Our axes were clattering and clanking into their wooden shields under the roiling, doom-laden sky.
5. Our weapons were clanging and clangourous under the seething, spite-filled sky.
PLURAL NOUNS FOR MONSTERS
|a sea of enemies||a flood of monsters||a host of ogres||a hive of cannibals||a plague of hellhounds|
|a swarm of opponents||a legion of trolls||a horde of beasts||a throng of goblins||an infestation of orcs|
1. Our bones were breaking and popping as a sea of enemies crashed into us.
2. Our bones were snapping and shattering as a flood of monsters broke our lines.
3. Our bones were cracking and crunching as a horde of beasts smashed into us.
4. Our bones were fracturing and rupturing as a throng of goblins hurtled into us.
5. Our bones were splitting and splintering as a plague of hellhounds careered into us.
1. The ground was glazed with gizzards and a vile smell rose up from it.
2. The ground was burnished with entrails and a sickly odour rose up from it.
3. The ground was lubricated with guts and a nauseating waft arose from it.
4. The battleground was anointed with bowels. The putrefying stench of a thousand battles seemed to come from it.
5. The effluvium of death was all around us. The battlefield had been baptised in blood and the bitter, mordant perfume of corpses emanated from it.
1. Our new armour was flashing like moon fire, but it was an eye-popping moment,
2. Our lances sparkled like dew gleam, but it was a marrow-freezing moment.
3. Our new shields were gleaming like star flame, but it was a spine-chilling moment.
4. The dewy grass flickered like diamond flame as a blood-curdling howl rent the air.
5. Our spear tips glinted like wicked hoar frost, but the screams of the enemy were bowel-loosening.
1. A jet of blood surged into the air. It tasted salty.
2. A fountain of blood soaked my face. It tasted vinegary.
3. A geyser of blood showered into the air. It tasted tangy.
4. A spritz of blood spouted into the air. It tasted brackish.
5. A wellspring of blood sluiced into the air. It tasted coppery.
LEVEL 1: BASIC SENTENCES
1. The sky was cobra-black. SKY COLOUR
2. Mercury-red blood drizzled to the ground. BLOOD COLOUR
3. Our enemies were banging and bashing at our lines. BATTLE SOUNDS
4. Our fire arrows were fizzing and fizzling through the air. MISSILE SOUNDS
5. Their men were wailing and whimpering in pain. CRIES OF PAIN
6. Our armour was chiming as the horses galloped. SOUND OF METAL
7. A swarm of opponents attacked us. PLURAL NOUNS
8. The smell of battle was ungodly. SMELL
9. The battle was heart-thumping. SENSATION
10. The saline taste of blood was in my mouth. TASTE
LEVEL 2: A BASIC PARAGRAPH
The sky was carrion-black. Poppy-red blood drizzled from our wounds. The trolls were clunking axes and crashing war hammers against our shields. Arrows were zipping and hissing through the air. Some of our men were sobbing and snivelling with fear. Swords were ringing against each other. A legion of trolls attacked the centre of our lines. The septic smell of death hung over the battlefield. It was a battle of head-clasping horror. The acrid taste of blood rose up in our mouths.
LEVEL 3: MIRROR SENTENCES
1 The sky was profane-black. (Creating atmosphere)
2 Our cold hands gripped our cold, steel swords. (Repetition)
3 The wind whipped at our faces. (Alliteration)
4 We looked at the sea of monsters that surrounded us. (Metaphor)
5 Their spears glinted wickedly. We were afraid. (Using a personal response)
6 Their feet stamped as they roared up at us. (Onomatopoeia)
7 “Fire!” our commander screamed. (Using direct speech)
8 A storm of arrows (Metaphor) whizzed and fizzed into the night. (Onomatopoeia)
9 Ember-red blood (Using colour) gushed (Onomatopoeia) from the monsters.
10 They surged forward. It was like being attacked by a swarm of insects. (Simile)
11 Their iron ladders clanked off the castle walls. (Onomatopoeia)
12 They all had bulbous eyes(Character description) and they blazed magma-red with hatred. (Using colour)
13 Our teeth chattered(Sense of sensation) and our spines tingled with fear. (Sense ofsensation)
14 The swishes and hisses of swords slashing through the air made the battle seem more perilous. (Consonance)
15 His sword rose. I fell. (Short syntax for dramatic effect)
LEVEL 4: MIRROR SENTENCES
1 The sky was damnation-black. (Better diction)
2 Our cold hands gripped our gelid swords. (Better diction)
3 The wind screamed and slashed at our faces. (Alliteration and pathetic fallacy)
4 A plague of monsters (Better metaphor) teemed beneath our feet at the castle walls. (Establishing location quicker than before)
5 Their spears glittered and glowed under the ghostly moonlight. (Assonance)
6 Their feet thundered on the valley’s cold floor as they bellowed up at us. (Onomatopoeia)
7 Our commander screamed; “Fire!” and we loosed our arrows. (Better command of syntax)
8 A blizzard of arrows (Metaphor) buzzed and hummed into the shroud of black sky. (Onomatopoeia)
9 Molten-red blood (Better colour)sluiced (Onomatopoeia) from the deadly wounds the arrows caused.
10 The monsters swarmed forward like a plague of ravenous locusts. (Better simile)
11 Their iron ladders were thunking and clanging off the castle walls. (Better onomatopoeia)
12 They all had saurian eyes and they were festering with hatred for us. (More creative description)
13 Our hearts pounded against our rib cages and our neck hairs felt like pins with the terror of it all. (Better expression of sensation)
14 The slithering sounds of thousands of swords being unsheathed were frightening. (Consonance)
15 It was carnage. (Short syntax for dramatic effect)
LEVEL 5: MIRROR SENTENCES
The starless sky was casket-black and brooding. (Using pathetic fallacy) Even the clouds seemed morose. Gelid hands clasped algid steel as we gazed upon our foe. The cold, north wind keened and mewled through both the valley and the souls of our men. (Four archaicwords)
The clouds cleared. Their spears glimmered cruelly under the eerie moon. Its phantom flame sent ribbons of chrysalis-silver light spilling onto the upraised shields of our men. (Assonance) The monsters swarmed and swayed below us like corn in a field, yet it seemed there were more of them than a thousand bushels could hold. (Hyperbole) Our commander raised our proud pennant aloft in defiance. (Alliteration) It represented our dreams, our lives and our salvation. (Triplication and symbolism) If it was taken, it would mean we were dead.
They crashed upon the castle walls as our commander screamed; “Fire!” in desperation. (Better syntax) Their iron-shod feet clapped off the frozen ground like the rumbling of thunder. (Simile) A tempest of wicked, barbed fire arrows (Metaphor)soared into the sombre sky. (Alliteration) They sizzed and sizzled(Onomatopoeia) before hitting their targets. Fountains of magma-red blood(Metaphor using hyperbole) sprayed into the air. It was butchery. (Short syntax for dramatic effect) We hoped that we would survive the day. (Finish with hope or despair)
For much more of the above, please check out my book Writing with Stardust or just click on the book images below.
Descriptive Writingby Richard Koh .
1. It is the writing of a story in great detail with the use of many descriptive words such that one who reads it would feel like they are there at the scene of the story.
2. What in your opinion is descriptive writing?
2.1. It focuses mainly on describing the scene, in terms of actions, sounds, appearance etc and uses an abundance of adjectives and other descriptive words so as to give the reader a realistic feel as though he/she is indeed experiencing it firsthand.
3. It might also involve the use of expressions like similes, metaphors and personification.
4. Use your five sense to describe the setting and let the reader feel as if he or she were actually there, seeing the setting for themselves
4.1. We can actually make use of literary devices such as similes, metaphors, irony, symbolism to describe sights, sounds, feelings and create actual mental pictures in your mind as well as the reader's.
5. It is the use of descriptive words and emotion to create a story so realistic that readers will be able to feel what the person in the story will be feeling as well as imagine the scene
6.1. i) We should stick to just describing and not having too much stories
6.2. ii) Use 3rd person instead of writing as 1st person so that you will be an onlooker who is able to see everything you have written in your story.
6.3. iii) When writing descriptive, you not only have to describe the noun but also to add your feelings in so as to be able to allow your reader to be thinking and feeling with you in your story
7. It uses descriptive words such as adjectives, personifications, metaphors and similes to describe settings, people, etc.
8. How is it different from other text types?
8.1. It requires the use of more description to create a vivid image of a scene or character in the reader's mind.
9. Excessive description such as using too many adjectives may weakens your writing.
10. You can describe about a person you know or a place you have been to so that it'll be easier to describe as you are familiar with it but do not tell a story based on it as descriptive writing is not narrative writing.
11. It requires the strong command of the English language
12. Describing using the five sense - sight, hearing, taste, touch and smell.
13. Literary devices such as similes and metaphors can be used too and they can strengthen the underlying message the author is trying to convey.
14. Does not make a point or opinion, it can be used within almost all the text types to desrcribe certain things. (e.g. in examples that try to build up on a point)
15. vivid description must seem like the writer is showing the reader what is being described, instead of just telling
16. 3.How is it different from other text types?
16.1. It does not have a format, unlike formal letters. Instead, there are many different ways to describe a certain object, event or even feeling.
17. What does it entail?
17.1. It uses a wide range of vocabulary and descriptive words (vivid description). It should also focus more on describing and not narrating.
17.2. It also focuses on the most prominent and unique feature of the place or thing that is breathtaking.
18. 1. What in your opinion is Descriptive Writing?
19. Group 1
19.1. How is it different from other text types?
19.1.1. The main focus is describing the scene rather than creating a plot, like narratives. It is more detailed and uses a wide range of vocabulary in terms of description, and less detailed when it comes to the plot, theme etc.
19.2.1. Excessive use of adverbs and adjectives are not good, we should use precise vocabulary for a stronger description.
19.2.2. Describe what you want the reader to see, hear, feel, smell,taste while reading your writing.
220.127.116.11. It entails the use of colorful and strong words as well as expression in the words to show what the writer or the character is feeling.
20. Group 2
20.1. What in your opinion is Descriptive Writing?
20.2. What does it entail?
20.2.1. Effective use of similes and metaphors
21. Group 4
21.1. 1.What in your opinion is Descriptive Writing?
21.1.1. It is telling a story in such details that your readers would be able to immerse themselves into the plot and setting, imagining themselves actually taking part in the story
21.1.2. It has more descriptions which makes the story more life like, letting the reader picture how the whole scenario is like.
21.2. 2.What does it entail?
21.2.1. a wide range of good vocabulary instead of adjectives and adverbs are used to aptly and accurately describe the various characters, settings and situations
21.2.2. use of original, vivid similies and metaphors to describe one's feeling's, sight, sound etc so as to create a mental image in the readers of what it is about
21.3. 3.How is it different from other text types (e.g. expositions, formal letters) you have learnt?
21.3.1. It focuses on a specific character or setting instead of telling an interesting story or argument or talking about facts.
21.3.2. It focuses more on descriptions.
21.3.3. It tends to show the readers rather than telling them what it is about
21.3.4. It is more vivid and lively with the use of more devices. There's also more descriptions for a certain thing, place or a person. Also, it does not have a fix format like formal letter or expositions.
21.4.1. we can talk about the past that helps to bring out a point that you are trying to bring across of a certain person, but do not make it into a story as it is not a narrative.
22. Group 5
22.1. 1. What is your opinion on Descriptive writing
22.1.1. It is a type of writing that can be used in personal recounts and narratives
22.1.2. The writer must have a wide knowledge of vocabulary in order to create a vivid and accurate depiction of what he is trying to say
22.1.3. It is used to try to paint a picture in the reader's mind so that the reader feels like she is actually experiencing the whole event in person.
22.2. 2.What does it entail?
22.2.1. It makes use of the five senses to make the reader feel as if he is experiencing it himself
22.3.1. We should not overuse adjectives as sometimes descriptive writing can be very dry to read when done so.
18.104.22.168. Precise vocabularly should be used instead so as to bring about a point in a concise manner and also to create a stronger impact.
22.3.2. It is good to add what you feel in addition to what you experience with your five senses to make the reader feel as if he is experiencing it himself
22.3.3. Avoid writing in first person to avoid starting to tell stories instead of just describing what is happening or what you see.
23. Group 6
23.1. 2. What does it entail?
23.1.1. i) It uses a wide range of adjectives which could describe the noun they are specifically referring. Literary devices are also often used.
23.1.2. iii) It creates a picture or sketch of it in the writer's head.
23.1.3. ii) It makes use of our five senses to make the setting realistic.
23.1.4. iv) It allows the reader to look at the setting from different perspectives by using imagery.
23.2. Group 3
23.2.1. What in your opinion is Descriptive Writing?
23.2.2. What does it entail?
22.214.171.124. It entails good use of vocabulary and emotive language.
126.96.36.199. Details and vocab words that are used at the correct time
188.8.131.52. Requires the writer to show not tell.
23.2.3. How is it different from other text types you have learnt?
184.108.40.206. It requires more descriptive language and a stronger vocabulary as well as being able to describe a certain place, person or event well.
220.127.116.11. Main focus is on describing the setting/ character and not on plot or main theme, for that descriptive paragraph
18.104.22.168. It does not have a format unlike formal letter
22.214.171.124. The aim of a descriptive essay is actually not to tell a story or 'be there' yourself in the story, but instead focus on a certain thing and enlarge it, describing everything down to the smallest details.
126.96.36.199. An effective descriptive writing is not about dumping in alot of adjectives and adverbs, it is about using precise vocabulary, similies and metaphors
23.3. 3. How is it different from other text types?
23.3.1. i) It does not follow a stringent format, less restrictive, emphasizes more on appealing to our five senses.
23.3.2. ii) It is more realistic and emotions are evoked in the reader.
23.3.3. iii) It is less factual and statistical, but rather more creative.
24. Group 7
24.1. What in your opinion is Descriptive Writing?
24.1.1. Descriptive writing is a type of writing where the purpose is to describe the author's subject to the reader with vivid words to help the readers to imagine the exact figure or situation of one subject.
24.1.2. The story is usually described and explained in vivid and minute details to depict a scene or scenario of a story and to help "paint" the picture in the reader's mind.
24.2. What does it entail?
24.2.1. Description of a person
24.2.2. Description of a place
24.2.3. Readers can imagine what does it look like, taste like, feel like,ect with the help of information given by the author.
24.2.4. Flowery language, specific adjectives,adverbs, analogies, similes,personification and metaphors
24.2.5. Description of an object
24.2.6. Making use of our five senses
24.2.7. more detailed elaboration on what is happening
24.3. How is it different from other text types you have learnt?
24.3.1. It is more of the description of people, places, objects and specific events.
24.3.2. It often does not involve storylines and plots.
24.3.3. It requires a strong vocabulary to write such essays. Metaphors and Similes are also included too.
24.3.4. It is not written from the first person point of view
24.4.1. Try not to repeat words and use different and more specific words for description. Metaphors and Similes will help to enhance the description.
24.4.2. Detailed Description of facial features, mannerism and setting is important
24.4.3. Develop an underlying theme from the question and take it as a controlling idea when writing
24.4.4. Always set a suitable mood for the scene so as to engage and absorb readers
24.4.5. Create a clear structure that is interesting to readers
188.8.131.52. Describing from the inside to the outside
184.108.40.206. Writing from the past to the future
220.127.116.11. Explaining from the general to the particular